The Rant
by Mac47
Summary: Did you feel the urge to shout at everyone after they kicked Buffy out of the house in Empty Places? Well, one unknown Potential is about to put her two sense in. Takes place when they're all arguing about how to argue.


"Oh. My. God. What is with you people?" the small brunette potential shouted over the buzzing debate over who would speak next.

"What do you mean?" replied Willow as the chatter died down.

"Are you all for real? We're going to sit here and yell about how to yell?"

"If you've got a better suggestion, then please, let's hear it." the redhead retorted.

The girl stood and began to address the group:

"Yeah, I do have a suggestion. I think instead of going at each other's throats right now, we should take a minute for some quiet reflection. Let's start with counting the number of times Buffy has saved your lives or come to your rescue or put up with you when you went all evil or I don't know DIED for you. Oh, having some problems with that counting? Yeah, I know, it's a pretty long list. But it's understandable that you guys are a little cranky because Buffy might have to die, again, to save you from the First. All that standing and watching while she fights your battles must get pretty tiring."

"And what's your big complaint? She's all distant and stand-off-ish? Well,uh, duh! She's supposed to battle the undefeatable evil to save your sorry asses. Um, yeah, I think I'd be a little cranky too. But hey, instead of talking to her like a normal person, let's kick her out of the house and leave the slayer that went all psycho and tried to kill everybody in charge. Solid plan."

"Oh, and just out of curiosity, by a show of hands only, how many of us have ever killed one of the crazy super ancient vamps? Oh, yeah, no one!"

"And then there's the lovely behavior of her supposed "friends" and "family". Let's start with the Ms. Whiney over here. Yeah, ok, your mom died and your dad's all shifty and absentee and your sisters this badass slayer who has to defend against evil and it all really really sucks, but seriously, do you have to complain and whine all the time? "Nobody understands...I'm all alone...blah blah blah". Seriously pick a different schtick. Although you've gone with a classic, it's getting a little old. Didn't your sister die to save you? Um, yeah, how quickly we forget. And who was it that she finally decided to live for? Oh, yeah, you! But seriously, let's throw her out of the house, that's an excellent way to say thanks."

"And you, Mr. Watcher Man. Get over yourself! Yeah, you used to be the head guy around here and now she can pretty much handle things on her own, but let's be honest here, you were never exactly in charge in the first place. And then you start pulling all this weird shit like trying to get Spike killed and siding with Faith and everything. Ok, yes, Spike's a little dangerous, and even though she probably wouldn't care to admit it, Buffy cares about him. She might even love him in some way, which we can all admit is a little weird, but the dude clearly cares about her and he's more loyal than any of you who claim to care about her. And then you get all pissy because she was mad you tried to kill him.

Giles began to open his mouth in protest, but was quickly cut off.

"Not so fast, I'm not finished. And what makes you so holy anyway? Have you ever averted an apocalypse? Or died? Or, I don't know, participated? Yeah, didn't think so."

"And Willow! You've known Kennedy for like ten minutes and now you're on her side with this whole fight thing and you basically kicked you're supposed best friend out of the house, her house, I might add. This is the person who picked you to be her friend, she sought you out on her first day. This is the person who stood by you when you did you magic-overdose and almost killed her sister. This is the person who even after you ripped her out of heaven, forgave you and tried her hardest to make you feel better about what you did."

"Which brings me to my final point: Why we're all here. Why are we here? Well, of course, we're here because of the first. And why is the first here? Well, it has always been here, but who was it who decided it would be a good idea it essentially take a giant stick and prod the first to get it really excited and ready to eat everybody? Oh, that's right, it was the dumbasses that resurrected Buffy. So not only did you all cause this shit, but you kicked out the one person whose fault it ISN"T. Not to mention the only person here who has actually successfully averted an apocalypse because your new best friend Faith-y here, yeah, she tends to just help cause the apocalypses, never actually helped in preventing one."

"I hope you all feel just super about yourselves because personally, I think you're all douches, but that kind of went without saying, don't you think? The only people that seem to actually be in Buffy's corner, which is the winning corner I might add, are the crazy soul-ed vampire and the effeminate hostage, and I'm pretty sure that's just because he's kinda scared of her, so we'll just be counting Spike on the list. But please, let's continue to debate who should get to speak next when you all have just kicked out the only real chance we've got of beating the First and, I don't know, living. So, please, carry on."

The girl sat down, leaving the room in silence.

After a somewhat long period of awkward glances and staring holes in the floor, a single voice broke the silence.

Anya practically shouted across the room, "All in favor of that one being the new leader raise your hand!"


End file.
